I have a low tolerance for psycho-babble. Although I don’t think this book is complete psycho-babble, there is an (un)healthy portion of it that just reads like psychological speculation and filler. I’ve read about the “five love languages” before, and there is a core of useful information there. I just think it can be explained in a simple way and in far fewer words than are in the several books that have been written and published on the subject.

So, the five love languages are:
1) words of affirmation
2) quality time
3) touch/physical expression of affection
4) gifts
5) acts of service

It is Mr. Chapman’s contention that everyone uses one of these five love languages as his or her primary way to express and receive love. The point of knowing your own primary love language and the primary love language of significant others in your life is to be able to express your love to them in a way that most plainly communicates love to that person. For example, if my primary love language is quality time, I will feel most loved by my husband, by my friends, and by my family when they decide to spend quality time with me. I will also tend to assume that that’s how they feel most loved by me. However, each of those people may have a different primary love language, and my husband or my teenage son may feel more loved and affirmed if I simply give them a a hug or a sincere compliment or a small gift or if I do something for them.

That’s it in a nutshell. The book takes a lot more words to say not much more than the preceding paragraph. If you want the concepts fleshed out with stories and lots of explanation and a few disclaimers and qualifications, read the book. Otherwise, just try to figure out how the people around you most readily receive and give love, and then try learning to give your affection to each one in a way that suits that person’s personality and “love language.” Not a bad idea at all, just too many words.