From Framley Parsonage by Anthony Trollope:

“. . . the young lord was as yet only twenty-six, but nevertheless, her ladyship (the young lord’s mother) was becoming anxious on the subject. In her mind every man was bound to marry as soon as he could maintain a wife; and she held an idea –a quite private tenet, of which she was herself but imperfectly conscious —that men in general were inclined to neglect this duty for their own selfish gratifications, that the wicked ones encouraged the more innocent in this neglect, and that many would not marry at all, were not an unseen coercion exercised against them by the other sex.”

OK, Eldest Daughter says that Trollope is making fun of Her Ladyship Lufton in the above passage in which he describes Lady Lufton’s views on men, marriage and the desirability of encouraging her son to marry the young lady that his mother has chosen for him. However, even though Lady Lufton is a little hard on the male sex in general, she has a point.

In a world in which discussions like this one take place, I do have a problem with a healthy young man with a decent income who refuses to consider marriage even though he is physically, spiritually, and emotionally in need of a wife. Why are so many Christian young men waiting so long to get married? Are they encouraged by “the wicked ones” to satisfy their desires for companionship and for a physical relationship outside of marriage? Are they afraid to get married in our divorce culture? Do they have unrealistic expectations in terms of income, thinking that it takes a great deal more money to support a family than it in fact does? Are they just refusing to grow up?

I don’t believe that the problem is a lack of Godly young women who are willing to marry. I know too many who are patiently preparing themselves for God to send a mate, but who have yet to have that person come ‘a courting.

And would “an unseen coercion exercised against them by the other sex” be a good idea? Warned by the example of Mrs. Bennett in Pride and Prejudice, I think not. However, as a member of “the other sex” I do openly encourage the young single men of my aquaintance and those (very few) reading here to “get thee a wife.” It seems to me that it’s a good, God-fearing thing to do for most young men.

Bonnie at Intellectuelle has a much more fully developed, and, well, intellectual, treatment of this same topic.

(Coward that I am, I’m scheduling this post to appear next week when I’m gone to Mexico on mission trip. So if I’ve created a tempest in a teapot, I’ll not be around to answer for it for a while.)