I have two boys and six girls. The boys are obviously outnumbered. However, Computer Guru Son(18) and Karate Kid (9) manage to make their presence known. I still don’t think I know much about raising a crop of boys, but I’m learning. Daily.
Boys are different.
Boys are not only different from girls; they’re different from each other. One of my boys is strong, handsome, and not at all interested in athletics. He’s the quiet type, not outgoing, but a very steadfast and loyal friend once he commits to a friendship. The other one is loud and boisterious, friendly with everyone, and everyone is friendly to him. He plays all sorts of games and sports, excels at some things and enjoys playing even if he doesn’t win. He’s a rough and tumble kind of boy in contrast to his brother who is neat, clean and fastidious. So, the first lesson is that, even within families, boys can have varying personalities and characteristics.
Boys are protectors.
Even with their differences, boys enjoy feeling respected and useful. My girls want to be helpers; my boys want to “save the day.” There’s a subtle but important difference. My girls want to be like me (to some extent), assist me, to learn from me, but my boys want to take care of me and the rest of the family, to protect us and make us proud of them. I try to remember to let them do so
Boys do have emotions.
My children are very verbal. All of them were talking in complete sentences before they were two years old. However, I find that my boys are less willing, maybe less able, to express emotions than are my girls. I have to help them sometimes, ask leading questions that would never be allowed in a courtroom. On the other hand, although my boys can become very angry, they don’t usually dissolve into tears or make an emotional scene. They leave that to the girls.
Boys are fun.
Boys are lots of fun and lots of work. I often don’t understand what they’re thinking, and Engineer Husband can’t or doesn’t tell me, so I have to work harder to communicate with my boys and to know what they need in the way of counsel and help at any given time. However, because they are such foreign creatures in many ways, I have a ball watching them, listening to them, trying to understand them. Karate Kid and even my young man, Computer Guru Son, both make me laugh and remind me of why and how much I love their father even though he’s one of those furriner boys, too.
Some excellent posts from other bloggers about boys:
Amy Scott on treating boys like the men we want them to become.
You have eight children??! Oh my. I am impressed.
Interesting observations. . . I have two boys and five girls (plus two more foster girls at the moment), and have found many of the same things to be true. I would add that boys are LOUD, and mine, at least, are much more competitive with each other than their sisters. They are much more physical than the girls in their inteactions, too. They are 17 and 13 but htey playfight like a couple of puppies. My girls just shake their heads! My second duaghter rolls her eyes and says, “Mom, they’re doing that alpha male thing again.”
Another excellent post on boys is the Boy Manifesto by
Blest With Sons. You can find it at http://www.blestwithsons.com/?p=291
I have three boys and three girls. Boys are noisier. My oldest, now turning thirty, was making noises for a long time. Now the last one is at it. I think they can make pretty good sounds. I like the things they build. When they are ten, they are stronger than me. I used this to my advantage. Girls are more interested in a relationship with mom, but the boys, when younger, are more attached to mom. I have always said that if God gave me the choice, I would have asked for all girls. I would have made a mistake. I love my boys and have a good relationship with them. I was a public school teacher for many years. I would rather teach a classroom of boys than girls! Yes, even the “bad boys!”