Dear Teen Me: Authors Write Letters to Their Teen Selves edited by E. Kristin Anderson and Miranda Kenneally.
Bullying Under Attack: True Stories Written by Teen Victims, Bullies & Bystanders by Stephanie Meyer, John Meyer, Emily Sperber, and Heather Alexander.
These are two similar collections of teen angst. In the first book, Dear Teen Me, YA authors write letters to themselves as they were when they were teens and in the process they tell some of their own back-story and give advice they wish they had taken when they were teens. It would have helped me to know how old the author who was writing any given letter is now. I would have been able to evaluate the advice in the letters better had I known the length of time elapsed since the events occurred. On the other hand, most of the advice was of the “hang-in-there” and watch out for hairstyles that you will later regret variety, so I guess it was all valid as far as it goes.
The second book, Bullying Under Attack, is a collection of stories of contemporary teens who have experienced bullying in some way. Some of the teens who contributed essays, poems, and photographs to the book were harassed and tormented by bullies, others were themselves the bullies, and others recount stories of standing by and being called upon to help. Again, the advice is fairly standard. Hang in there. Survive. Stand up for yourself. Show compassion for the bully. Change schools. It’s all good advice, if perhaps a bit inadequate in some situations. Generally, the adults are fairly useless in most of the teens’ experiences, which may sadly be the the way it really is on the ground in our schools and families and on the internet (some of the stories involved cyber-bullying).
Maybe my compassion fatigue while reading these two collections of teen drama shows a lack in me, but I must be honest. After a while the stories in these two books and the advice given by the authors and the teen victims and the teen bullies and the teen bystanders all started to blur together and convert itself into one big cliche. I wanted to feel for the kids who told horrendous stories of abuse, tragedy, cruelty, and bad hair-dos, but it was all too, too much. First of all, I shouldn’t have read both books back-to-back. In addition, I would even suggest to anyone who is interested in reading either book that they take it in a little at a time, perhaps one story per night. Although since Dear Teen Me has letters from seventy different YA authors, including Lauren Oliver, Ellen Hopkins, Sara Zarr, and Tom Angleberger, to name the ones I recognize most readily, reading one story per day would stretch the book out over two or three months. That’s a lot of angst in daily doses.
Then, one could move on to Bullying Under Attack, but that’s a lot more sadness, and I’m just not sure it would accomplish the stated goal of the latter book, which is to end bullying and the culture of bullying. To end bullying, kids (and adults) need a change of heart, and I’m not sure that reading a book about the sources and effects of bullying will really make anyone stop being a cruel, abusive person or will help anyone to escape the bullies. But maybe I’m wrong.
From Amazon’s book description: “Stories of regret, promises, and encouragement that will help readers find solace during their teen years and show them how—as adults—their words and actions can provide strength and reassurance to others experiencing all aspects of bullying. Ultimately, they will learn to find their voices in order to break the cycle for good.”
Many of the reviewers at Amazon say that the bullying book in particular should be “required reading.” I think a more radical prescription is called for: conversion to the ethic of Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit for bullies and for their victims.
As for adults who are wondering what their role should be in regard to bullying, this piece and others like it by Dr. James Dobson speak directly to the point and instruct adults who are too often “bystanders” in the face of teen bullying. My weariness in reading these books does not mean that I believe that bullying is OK or not a real problem or that adults should become weary in confronting and stopping it when it happens.